GUIDEBOOK

MY MOTHER, YOUR MOTHER:
Embracing "Slow Medicine," the Compassionate Approach to Caring for Your Aging Loved Ones
by Dennis McCullough, M.D.
(HarperCollins, 2008)
"In the landscape of our older family members' lives, there will often come an event which forces a changed awareness of an elder's limits. In time, and with the clarity of hindsight, families may come to regard one little decision or unobtrusive happenstance as a kind of watershed in the life of a loved one and the whole family. No matter how carefully an elder may have been attending to her regimen, slippage comes. 'It wasn't like him to do that.' 'These trips are more challenging than they used to be.' 'If only we'd realized how hot it was.'"    
—From My Mother, Your Mother 
WHAT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO?
In his book, Dr. McCullough focuses on the fastest growing group of elders, those over age 80. This group is particularly important because at present it has more interaction with the medical system and uses more resources per capita than any other age group. And it is about to double its numbers, with a spiraling demand for health services. Diseases which once ended lives relatively quickly have been changed into chronic illness, chronic debilitation, and extended years of decline. The pressure of numbers is creating unprecedented family and societal burdens. Geriatric specialists like Dr. McCullough who have been in the clinical trenches for years have learned that this particular group of elders has the highest likelihood of benefiting from care that is more measured and reflective, which actually stands back from rushed, in-hospital interventions and slows down to balance thoughtfully the separate, multiple, and complex issues of late-life.

MY MOTHER, YOUR MOTHER WILL HELP YOU:
  • Form an early and strong partnership with your parents and siblings
  • Strategize on connecting with doctors and other care providers
  • Navigate medical crises
  • Create a committed Advocacy Team
  • Reach out with greater empathy and awareness
  • Face the end-of-life time with confidence and skill
Although taking care of those who have always cared for us is not an easily navigated time of life, My Mother, Your Mother will help you and your family to prepare for this complex journey. This is not a plan for getting ready to die; it is a plan for understanding, for caring, and for helping those you love live well during their final years. And the time to start is now.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
  • Preface: Slow Medicine
  • First Things: The Foundation of a New Family Understanding
  • Overview: Slow Medicine at Eight Stations of Late Life
  • Chapter 1: Stability "Everything is just fine, dear" - Mom
  • Chapter 2: Compromise "Mom's having a little problem" -Dad
  • Chapter 3: Crisis  "I can't believe she's in the hospital" -Sister
  • Chapter 4: Recovery "She'll be with us for a while" -Rehabilitation Nurse
  • Chapter 5: Decline "We can't expect much more" -Visiting Nurse
  • Chapter 6: Prelude to Dying "I sense a change in her spirit" -Long Term Care Nurse
  • Chapter 7: Death "You'd better come now" -Hospice Nurse
  • Chapter 8: Grieving / Legacy  "We did the right things" -Brother

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